Flight Status

Emotions flow from me like the tide of the ocean - in and out - up and down - each folding upon the other so that there is no way to know where it all begins or where it all will end.

I was on the plane today - looking down onto the surface as the earth as things began to get smaller and smaller and I thought to myself "How similar this is to the idea that as we go away from life things become smaller and smaller within us - but they always remain there, no matter how far we go - on the surface of something."

I covered a thousand miles or so today - from Iowa to Philadelphia - My body was transported, but where is my soul? As I sit here in front of this computer - in a different space, with a different life - I wonder, where do I belong?
To have options but be indecisive - To have choice but be unable to distinguish what that is....

I am in this space right now where I am essentially unlimited. How does life occur without limits - is that possible?

A part of me wants to believe that things will go as they should. That I will stay true to myself and continue to learn that life lessons that are necessary to get my through life as I should. A part of me wants to let go of 'what if' and let it 'be' - but another part is afraid that this could be all wrong.

If only we knew what we wanted - if only things were so clear as they appear to others...hindsight is 20/20 - why can't my 20/40 vision give me a little something to go on here?

What is it that I am afraid of? I know life will send me what I need - I know that I will always be supported and cared for no matter what the situation - but the uncertainty is not something that I can completely let go of...or be content with

and these were the emotions of the day - much love to all of those who I have left in Iowa today - I shall return on Jan 14th!!!