Circle

if only life occurred the way we planned....

i know this love is passing time
passing through like liquid i am
i'm drunk in my desire
but i love the way you smile at me
i love the way your hands reach out and
hold me near
i believe
this is heaven to no one else but me
and i'll defend it long as i can be
left here to linger in silence
if i choose to would you try to understand

****

Sometimes i want to be out of this body - out of this experience - i want to be displaced, moved, changed suddenly so that my existence doesn't make sense. I want start fresh and feel myself and who I am again for the first time
Life has become so convoluted - so many things to consider - so much responsibility to take - so much to own and to be held accountable for.

there are two of us talking in circles and one of us who wants to leave
in a world created for only us an empty cage would have no keep
don't you know that we're working with flesh and calling out in jealously
crawling into each other is smarter than every other part of me

****

i think you worried for me there the sublte way that i give in but i know you liked the show
tied down to this bed of shame tried to move around the pain but oh your soul is anchored
the only comfort is the moving of the river you enter into me i lie upon your lips
offer what you can i'll take all that i can get
only fools here

well i don't like your tragic size - as if your god has passed you by - well here you go
that's your deception

****

make sense of you before you try to make sense of me - it's not fair that you expect - i can't meet you half way - i can't even make it a quarter of the way - there is no where to go from here.

(- some lyrics by Sarah McLachlan)