Vent

I need a place to vent....what a better place than here?

Warning: The following rant will be about a boy...er, man...confused thoughts that have no place to go and will go no place but here...

So, Jeremy...we've been on 4 dates now...3?...no, four....anyway...how am i supposed to feel? act?..it's been awhile, and i don't think I did it right before anyway...

Am I supposed to instigate the conversation about what we are? Or am I supposed to just leave it how it's going and let it all come out on its own?
I mean...I don't want anything serious right now...I just want to date or whatever...but, how do I say that? Is it too late?...and the way he is acting is so confusing...the things he says...the way he kisses me goodbye like...like we're something...ergh, i don't know....

I'm usually direct and so I am not sure why I am having trouble being direct here...maybe I don't need to be just quite yet. I think that's the lesson i'm supposed to learn here...just let things be and have patience...no rush rush rush...*deep breath* yes, that must be the lesson to learn here!

Another question: is it possible for me to have a 'just dating' relationship? is it possible for anyone??
I would like to think it is...maybe this one can be my experiement...i mean, well...you know..to see if it's possible...
because I know I am definitely not wanting to get attached to anyone anytime in the near future - just want to have fun, ya know?...but it's so nice to have some one to talk to and have say nice things about you in an endearing way -- and it's always great to have someone to touch and hold you when you need it...

*sigh*

i'm so confused around all of this!
patience....
patience...

yes, that's the lesson...