After Thoughts

I don't know why I am drunk on you
You tug on my emotions
We shared a night in your bed
Rolled up in your sheets
Deep inside each other
But so far apart

Then you stopped
what hadn't even started
and made it all begin
deep within me
this yearning to know why

I want to see your sheets again
feel your cool skin against mine
and compare the contrast of you and me
but its not real
never was
and i'm stuck

the idea of you haunts me
but i can't see your face
i forget what you look like
i can only smell you
and feel that sense of you
that i got
when you left your bed

you keep calling to lead me there
to the space that contains nothing
and you spill your wares infront of me
like i should give you something
pay for it

i have nothing to provide
words are useless with us
connected only by ideas
floating above us
nothing materalizes in dreams

i can't get your smell out of my hair
i can't get your touch off my skin
i can't get your lips off of my mind
but i can't see you
you cannot possess the places where i look

when you say baby i wonder
are you lessening me here
are you tearing away my reality
are you aware of your power in this moment
do you hear me one step behind
is that why you stumble

i don't know what would make it easier
on you or on me
to pretend
that i never slept next to you
that i never watched
your chest move with your breath
to match your breath with mine
to understand that you were in there
where i could not connect

you're another reason to avoid it
are you
another reason to not deal
another reason to pass it along
another reason to drown myself

just let me go
please release me
let me release myself