it seems that each one after him has been an imposter...that in some ways i am 'replacing' him with them. they lay there...next to me...in his spot...and they play the role well....their impersonations of someone i could love are flawless....oscar winning performances
it's not that i think about him so specifically..in fact, he never really occurs to me until moments like now...where i am alone with myself for awhile and i can ponder what it is that i am truly feeling.....and i realize, it's not even him that i'm mourning or feeling is being shadowed...but really just my ability to allow anything like him to ever exist in my heart again.
the motions are easy...the sweet kisses are still cherished...the carressing hands are still felt and appreciated...the connected looks are real...it's real and i feel it....but i don't know that it can ever be what we had again...
how do i express this, and accept this, and have this be ok? or...how do i get that back?
am i making sense here?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment