Breaking Ground

i found my way here again
a chamber of confused hearts
searching for mine
but unfamiliar with where it would be

and i've exhausted my resources of comfort
given too much to the offering
used up all of the holy water
because i was so dehydrated

and my arms aren't long enough
to hold me as i sleep
my fingers not strong enough
to rub out this frustration

so i wander in my mind
for awhile i imagine
where it could be
should be

but just isn't

it just fucking isn't right now

no matter how hard i try
it's not the right thing
no matter how much i push
this boulder in my path isn't going to budge

until i step around it
until i truly understand the ravine
on the other side

and when i fall
when i jump over the edge
wings will materialize
and i will never reach the ground

no emergency landing