So I was sitting in St. Louis Bread Co. tonight (Panera to those of you not familiar with it's original alias) doing some studying for my pathology exam on friday...needed a change of scenery tonight....and on one of my 'breaks' I was people watching the table nearby...a young man about mid 20's and his mother, grandmother and grandmother's sister....the older ladies were so sweet..they had to at least be in their 80's...very fragile
and it got me thinking about aging
it might sound strange...but, i started to cry....just watching them - how delicate they were...the way that the grandson was talking to them...he and his mother with raised voices so the older ladies could hear...the patience in the conversation...the simplicity of the scene...it wasn't a sobbing cry of course...but the kind of tears that burn as they well up and uncontrolably tumble out of your eyes and down your cheeks.
the whole setup made me think about my 85 year old grandmother in Maine...the length of her life...the transition of her role...she even remarks herself 'what's the point - i can't do anything that i want to do anymore'...i can't even fathom...what it must be like to be there...waiting for life to end and seeing no opportunity in every minute that is in front of you.
i'm young - 22 - full of ambition...eyes wide open to opportunity....welcoming oppostion - thriving on possiblity....and there these ladies were, enjoying a bowl of broccoli cheddar soup and wondering why the sandwich in front of them was so big. Asking 'do people really eat all of this food?' and then being concerned with troubling her own daughter to take her to the grocery store because 'i think dierburgs has those cookies that dad used to like and i think i'd like one of those tonight before bed' ... how could you not be moved?
the scene made me stop for a minute and re-collect...allowed me to appreciate and grasp my reality with a renewed vigor...
I'd like to remember this evening for awhile...
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5 comments:
I find it hard to believe your heart was so moved by something so simple. Where is your heart on the larger issue? Are larger issues not part of your fantasy world.
First of all - thank you for reading 'anonomyous'! But...I think you missed the point entirely. Larger issue? What larger issue? I find it hard to believe that your heart could not pick up the message there. That life is precious...and that there are stages and roles that we play but that in each moment of those stages and roles...there is something to cherish, appreciate and be.
There is not much of a line between fantasy and reality, my friend...but I find that I thoroughly enjoy each second of my existence!
i dont agree that your message was obvious.its great to think you are only an observer but in reality you are not.until you come to realize even YOUR actions have consequences.now think about that.You arent the only one watching.people are watching you too and judging
You are too shallow to feel anything like what you described.
well 'anonymous' i'm not sure why you seem to have a vendetta against me...if you would care to share why it is that you feel so strongly about me but cannot reveal yourself i would appreciate it.
If you could also explain how I have not realized that my actions have consequences, I would appreciate that too...
What should be known here is this:
This is my space, to talk about my experiences and what I am getting out of life. I have made it public because there are people who are important to me and who want to read about what is going on with me.
Now, while I value the opinions of others - I refuse to be defaced by some 'anonymous' person in O'Fallon, Missouri who wants to tear into me for what seem to be silly reasons or no reason at all.
So either expose yourself or, if I am really that shallow, quit reading and worrying yourself about me...just one human being in this world...and go terrorize someone else.
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