Funk-ified

Here it is again - this damn funk...
I should document this...I think there is a pattern here

I need to talk this out:

Classes started this week - BORING....*yawn* - so far anyway
30 credit hours and so there is A LOT to do there...but, wow...the days seem like weeks. I can't wait for things to kick in and to start tutoring...

But this funk...yeah, hmm

Woke up this morning after a late night down at the Landing - exhausted and emotional.
I then preceeded to lay in bed until about 1...ate some 'brunch'...watched a movie...attempted to study...took a shower...danced in my room with my new MP3 player....attempted to study...matt called to talk for a little bit....called my daddy...ate dinner - kyle called and asked me to come over - kathy texted me and asked me to go out in Westport...but I watched another movie...studied....and then perused myspace for 2 hours.

Matt was supposed to call again, but didn't :(

The day has been one long minute...I feel like I've been waiting for something to happen - it never did.

I'm sad today.
I feel unattractive and undesired.

I was harrassed by a guy at the bar last night. I really hate the bar scene anymore. I don't know that I ever really 'liked' it...and if I did...it only last for about 5 months.
Being there kind of got me to where I am now - the way I feel, I mean.
All of those people - girls half clothed (gorgeous girls), men drooling over them...I just can't get there...that mentality.
But then, what IS my mentality?

I'm lonely today - that's it.
I could have gone over to Kyle's and chilled for the night - he was just cleaning and hanging out...but, it wasn't what I wanted.
I could have gone out to Westport with Kathy and listened to a comedian and sung kareokee...but it wasn't me tonight
Shit, I could have done anything but what I did.....but nothing seemed right.

I wanted to cuddle with someone - yeah, I needed love today. There just wasn't anywhere to get it.....and, well...there won't be tomorrow.

*sigh* i have a feeling I am going to scoff at my melodramatic attitude in a few days...and wonder how i get into these moods...but at the moment...I really just want to cry.