Flaw or Faux Pas?

I often wonder if everything happens for a reason...or maybe a different way to put it, everything has within it, a lesson.

I should be packing right now - well, I should have been packing all evening..but instead I have been thinking, pondering...sitting and wondering: what, how, who and most importantly why.

The way that life happens is amazing...my own movie, every second of every day. And, although seconds happen that I feel I have no control over...in essence, I always do.

I have been talking on the telephone with this amazing person. Each conversation leaves me hanging...wanting more, craving more...it's beyond describing actually, the feeling. Each moment seems connected and fresh. However, one thing holds it from becoming anything more than the words that dribble from our lips and through the phone line. The liquidity and fluidity of our conversation is trapped between the space between us, and it seems...the two shores may never meet.

Perhaps I am being melodramatic. In fact, I'm quite sure that I am. It's been a few short days...but it seems so intense. In our created space...time transcends and everything seems weightless.

But our hearts cannot quite meet.

And I keep thinking I am losing here...in this unfought battle. But I have thought for quite awhile tonight and have come to this:

Love is never tangible. It can never be touched or reproduced. Feelings are the same. When they exist there is no denying them. There are ways to side step them...or change our perception of their 'meaning'. But when they are there, they have their own space and it is as if that space was created for them before they ever existed within it.

It is possible that the wall will never fall. That it will only grow to work against us. But even then...it will be for us.

When I said that one day, someone will get it, someone will understand and it will not keep them away...I know this is true in my heart of hearts.

Don't get me wrong: I am not jumping to any conclusions here or making any statements with any real weight or conviction.

I'm simply saying that...I get it. This experience, these few days...have given me the insight to see it for what it's worth. That I cannot limit myself in having the experience...I am allowed. And there are people in this world to connect to. That are amazing like this person, that are inspiring like this person, and make relating on an emotional, spiritual and intellectual level seem possible, real and worth having again.