Sometimes I find it hard to let go...and that's referring to almost every single aspect of my life. I am sure this comes as no surprise to most of you - It may have been so obvious that you're laughing at my confession right now...
So much points there though. Letting go is something to work on.
Of course, it relates to Mike...because his death seems to be something that is driving me to learn about life at a much faster pace than before. And so, I realize that letting go means so many different things...and that maybe my intial interpretation of letting go = getting rid of...wasn't right afterall.
Sometimes (okay, quite often) I equate letting go with losing control...and this is a problem for me. Yet another non-surprise, I'm sure, for those that know me.
Losing control - although I must acknowledge that I understand on a much deeper level that control and the possession of it is really a subjective thing (lies within the individual). Control isn't something tangible or that can be touched - it's a creation of he who possesses it...there's more...- is something I resist because in the larger picture I really make it mean that I am weak or unable to do it 'right'. Basically - I am afraid of what it would 'look like' if I didn't feel like I had that handle...
So, blah blah blah...what the hell am I getting at here?
If maybe, for a second (just to see how it looks), I could let it go...maybe I would experience so much more than I had ever been able to do before. And maybe I would realize so much about life that I had never seen before when I was living inside of my restrictive box of 'control'....and maybe I would like it...
Food for thought, anyway..
But by the same token...maybe I would fall into a terrible whirlwind of tragic events and never be able to regain composure...
What happens when we let go - are we ever able to find the railing again - or - did the railing ever exist?
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