Hanging From the Precipice

Fairfield has this smell - a particular feeling...I had forgotten

As I drove into town yesterday it came rushing back...it's not like I had been gone that long...I guess when I left last time I thought that when I came back - I wouldn't be able to find that feeling again..

I'm sitting here - looking out the window...watching cars drive by, snow on the ground...clear blue sky...Eva Cassidy serenading me...feeling on the verge of tears - overcome by emotion. That's why I'm composing now. Hoping that having this outlet at my fingertips will pull me over the edge of this precipice of emotion... so I can feel it.

I tried to find Mike last night - but his headstone isn't in yet and the snow makes things look different. I found his mom, though. Talked to her for a second...she must be happy to have him with her.

I am going to go play with the kids in a little bit...the angels...how wonderful it is that I am able to be a part of their life.

I wish you could come inside of my head for a minute - maybe you could help me sort all this out...but until that happens - I'm moment to moment...

Until the next moment of opportunity...