Eternal Fumble

It's funny how death changes things - how life seems shifted out of place now...and I am in an eternal fumble to try and get it all back to where it was.

It doesn't seem possible that someone could be gone 'just like that' - that one second I am able to pick up the phone and call and in another instant, if I were to do the same action, there would be no one there to respond...ever

But I wish I would have picked up the phone that one last time...not knowing it would be the last, I know. But at least one last time so I could have said something that I would have felt more complete about.

At least I have his children...those beautiful souls. I have made it my duty to watch over them as Mike would have done. To love them as Mike would have done, just as if Mike were still here. We will still go on walks, we will still play in the park, we will still dance together...and Mike will still be there with us, holding our hands and holding us in his heart.

He had so much love for everyone - you couldn't help but feel loved by Mike. So tender, so beautiful with life.

I miss him so much...