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I want to go back to before....

I want to smell you one last time - the way you intoxicated me....just one more time, please

I can't stop seeing your eyes - you were in this dream of mine last night .... so vivid... i never remember dreams...but suddenly there you were - walking through a door...and your face was magnified...and then it was your eyes, and it felt real then...your lips on mine...looking into your eyes..

I can't believe you're gone.

How do I stop crying? How do I stop feeling so alone? How do I forgive myself for not calling you back like I said I would...and not returning your text messages?
How do I get confirmation that you knew that I loved you?

Will I be okay soon?
I know you're okay...I know you're with your mother now, and I know you must be so happy to see her again. But I wish I could have had just a little more time with you.
I never got to tell you...but I was looking forward to seeing you because I was trying to learn how to adjust cervical vertebrae so I could help you out with your neck pain over christmas. That sniffling you had... I know how to get rid of it...I was going to make it better for you...I never got to tell you that...

You know what Katie said at your visitation, "You can be my aunt, Sarah. Okay? You can be my aunt." What a special little girl - always trying to include me. Remember when she kissed me and said, "It's okay, you're part of my family now."....I wish you could have been there to hear her and smile at her the way you did.
Anthony kept looking at your pictures and exclaiming "Dada, dada, dada" - he loves you so much...I am going to make sure he knows that you love him so much too...

Did you hear the song I sang for you? I hope you liked it...I wish you were there to hear it and tell me how great it was...I thought of you the whole time...I really hope you heard it...

Why are you gone? I wish you could come back....it's just not right...