Awhile

It's been awhile since I have posted and that is mostly due to the fact that I have not known what to say.

My life has changed quite a bit in the past couple of weeks and I feel as though I have been caught up in this whirlwind of events that has not until just recently (as in a few moments ago) allowed me to regain my footing.

The biggest event has been Kurt telling me that he wants to be with me again. After months of being shunned and neglected by him...he has decided that it was all a mistake. Wow...actually, I can't say that my feet are anywhere near the ground on this one -- I'm (still) up in the air about how to feel and what to do.
I have made a promise to myself that I would take some time to focus on me and not define myself against the relationship that I am in. (Which is what I have been doing since I was 15...so it's about time to make this promise)
And as tempting as it is to rekindle something with Kurt and try to work things out around that...my heart just isn't there anymore. After reading my blogs that I have posted for the past couple of months, this may be kind of hard to believe....but I guess until the option was really given to me - I didn't know that my feelings had shifted to such an extreme degree.

I need this time in my life to be about me and my own growth....alone, single, solo. This decision is what feels most right in my heart.