Repeat Offender and the Ostentatious Green Pepper

I thought things with Chris were done - for all of you who read the entry where I basically let everything off the hook probably think so too...but then he called me...and now where am I?

It's funny - he called as his ex was leaving his apartment - he had kicked her out saying that she lied again and that was really the last straw this time - said he has been hurt by her one too many times - I guess that's a good thing for him to take a stand like that in his life...but there is a problem on my end now...I don't know where I fit with him anymore...

It's complicated really...it's that he has lost his luster for me. After seeing how pathetic he became when his ex came back in town --- how he just kind of gave into being back with her despite all of the things he had said about her...previously I had thought of him as someone strong and in touch with what he needed. We had so many great conversations about relationships and life that I was fully convinced that he got it and he had some integrity around that...I guess not
At the same time, though - I empathize with him and see myself in his actions - if a certain someone told me that they wanted to retry something...I'm not so sure that I would say no...that's what life's about I guess - doing something maybe even despite all of the talk you put up against it....because life is about taking risks and learning from mistakes and learning from doing something right as well....

I guess what I'm left with around Chris is....why did he call? Especially why did he call while she was still packing stuff up and leaving the apartment....
And why is he saying things like, "I noticed you weren't calling?"...It's just confusing after all that he said before .
And even more amazing perhaps was that he called again - last night - the second night in a row. Chris never really called before - it was always me calling him....
I'm not really taking it any way other than that he needs someone to talk to right now, though. It's not like I am trying to read into his actions as any more than that....except maybe I am...because after all he said - all of the things he has done to push me away in the last week - why is he coming around again?
I think it would have been better for me if he would have just left it as it was...but here we go again - round two I guess...different this time though - I'm not going to give away so much...

*****
I suppose a little time should be devoted to talking about another situation:

How much do we really pay attention to ourselves and reflect on what is going on with us? Is it possible to do this without using the actions and lives of others as a point of reference? Or, is it necessary to take what others have done - if we have not necessarily experienced it ourselves- and make judgements and develop biases on that in order to understand ourselves more?

Also, how much do those judgements and biases that others impose on us really matter? How much do the ones we impose on others matter? Do we hold these two with the same regard?

How much validity does my opinion hold when it comes to you? And vice versa? - Who gets to decide?? I mean, who REALLY gets to decide?

I'm talking about character judgements here....which really brings us back to what is 'right' and what is 'wrong' and where do the qualifications for those judgements come from?
Taking into account that we all have different life experiences and the collection of those life experiences as they build on one another is what we use to make judgements - how do we all really ever reach a consensus about what 'right and wrong' are?
Is it through media? Our membership in a major social group?
Am I answering my own questions here?

I think this is what I really want to say:
No matter what any one else says we have to keep in mind (somewhere in our minds anyway) that everyone is pretty much on level playing field when it comes to make judgements and having biases...
There is so much background that comes into play while making decisions about other people that it is hard for me (at least) to really get caught up in someone elses opinion of me - or get caught up in my opinion of someone else.

Today I may decide that I don't like green peppers in my salad because last week I had this pizza and it had green peppers on it and it didn't taste good...but had I not had that green pepper on my pizza last week, I would probably have tried it on my salad.....
you get it?

I'm always thinking......