I'm in it right now...so deep
Caught up inside - everything at the surface - and the tears are right there - right behind my eyes...
I'm not really sure what it is exactly...because there is so much
I have spent this evening sitting on the couch - zoned on the television - I haven't watched TV for so long I can't even remember...which tells me - it's just another way to block...
But I'm sitting there - and it hits me - and I start sobbing...and God, it hurts...my heart is so heavy...
What? What is it? What? How?
Security - I want it...somehow...I want to feel it
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Kurt - it's so empty over his way...and it hurts to think that I did that...I caused that emptiness...God, I'm sorry - how did I do that? Who was that? Was that really me?
yeah....I have to own it...I have to accept it...that's that
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April says it's natural to feel this way...she says that I will always have an attachment in some way.
But is it natural to feel this way, really? I can't put my finger on what is right anymore...maybe I never could and that's the problem...
Fear makes people do crazy things...but you can't run away from some things and expect to get back to where it was before...
I just wish something made sense...
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