Thoughts of the moment:

You hurt me - intentionally?

When I look in your eyes
Everything seems so empty

Written Early tonight...

My heart feels so empty when I look at you and when I think about you - but I don't want it to be that way...I want so much to be able to look at you and have things feel okay or at least not so messed up.
One day you look at me with contempt- the next, compassion- the next, hatred and so one day I feel right about us and then the next, confused and then the next, hurt - everything continutes to be so unclear.
I complain aobut how you treat me but I continue to come back fo more - like i am deficient...
No - I don't know everything
Yes - I am just as scared and confused as everyone else
Most days I am flying by the seat of my pants in what I do and how I feel

I don't have everything figured out but I am a storng believer that if I live my life like I am sure in each moment and if I keep making constant observations and evaluations about my life as I go along, then I will always live my life as if I DO know who I am and I will be sure of my every move.

RELEASE

I say the words
to create the reality
so that I continue to
live as my intentions

I want to love someone
I want someone to love me
I want someone to believe in me
I want to believe in someone
I want someone to touch my hair
I want someone to kiss every inch of my face
I want someone to listen to my every word
I want to talk and talk and talk until we can't talk anymore
I want someone to look at me in awe
I want to be in awe of someone else

Can't I have what I want?