It's this problem that I have...not accepting reality and being unable to take things for face value

I value my analysis but sometimes I wish I could let things just be.... Here and now.... in the moment....not needing to step outside to think it over and make sure it's all okay...

I wonder if my behavior is as destructive to the lives of other's as it is to my own. Or is that destruction a creation that has become out of my own fear and inabilty to accept my own complacency with the ordinary? Is it not really a problem?

I can't let go sometimes...It's like I am stuck in this vicious cycle of events...they keep tumbling over and over, one into another....I step out of one and am sucked into another...like a ride at the fair..one to the next...keep going....a whirlwind....a drunken stumble up the street....go go go....when does it stop? Can i step outside and critique it? Can I be with who I am without my own bullshit rackets filling up my head??

Life is a continuous analysis of itself...there is no way I can step outside of that....but i must find a way to not have that be problematic for me....

How do I see life as itself and not the structure of itself that has led to the construction of me? Or, is this important?