Confessional

I guess I knew it all along in my heart. I knew that you and I would do this and I knew what would come of it. I thought for a long time that I had lost you... I thought maybe I had pulled the last straw and that you were only clinging to the idea of us and not "us" at all. I thought that once you discovered that what you saw in front of you was not what you really thought it was then you would be out the door.
But I knew that this couldn't be true... Even if it took that to make you see... I knew you would.

Sometimes we take things for granted. I might even argue that we take everything for granted. I am glad that we took this time to step back and realize that was what we were doing.

We both see the potential...but we also see the potential for personal growth that will allow us to become the best we can be together when we are ready.

I doubted us for awhile and thought that maybe all that I had in mind for us was wishful thinking. When you called to say you weren't sure if you could wait, I knew you had another agenda and I am glad that you at least took the initiative to follow through with it. It has, undoubtedly, made you a stronger person. I was scared that maybe you had lost sight...but in my heart I knew it would all come full circle.

I am content and comfortable with where we are because I believe in us and I believe in you. I refuse to be scared because that is a waste of energy. To be scared of what will happen does not prevent it from happening or change the fact that it is inevitably going to happen. Fear only creates pain within the individual and, if anything, prevents life from occurring to it's utmost potential.
I don't fear you or us. I am here with where we are...

Your raw honesty last night taught me something too. It really drove home the infamous words of my father:
"Life is like a leaf falling from a tree. You can fear the landing or ride the breeze." (Isn't he profound?!)

I do love you, Kurt. I am not ready to be back where we were but I have always been ready to become better and better everyday.
You are more than I could ever ask for and that is what makes you so perfect. You have exposed things about you in the past weeks that I always knew you had in you but wasn't sure how long I could wait around for them to appear. I am glad that we are still here.

Thank you.